Being married is hard. It doesn’t matter how much you love the other person, it is hard. Things that were cute when you started dating can become bothersome. Dealing with the daily stresses of your job, family, and kids and money issues can make marriage even harder. The key to a good marriage is to try. When things get hard or you hit a rough patch, you need to try and make things better. It takes effort but doing so will almost always make marriage easier.
Marriage takes work, here’s how you make things better
Go to Bed Together
When a relationship starts off, it is natural to go to bed together. You are excited for those after dark moments together. As marriage goes on, different schedules and routines can get in the way of going to bed together. It isn’t about those extra activities, it is about being connected together. Even without sex being involved, you can spend a few minutes talking about things before closing your eyes. Something so simple as going to bed together can make you feel more connected and increase your intimacy.
Show Your Partner You Love Him/Her
Saying I love you is great, but there are other ways to show someone you love them. After a while, saying I love you can become just words. Show your partner that you love them. It is the little things. Send him or her a sweet text. Do the things you know that they love. Does your wife love flower? Pick her some wildflowers you see growing in a field. Does your husband love a certain recipe? Make for him for no reason. Does your wife cook dinner every night? Cook dinner for her instead. Does your husband miss having a night out with the guys? Have his friends surprise him with a night out. This works great for ladies too. Have her friends surprise her with a girls night. Doing little things can make a person feel more loved than saying I love you.
Don’t Keep Score
It doesn’t matter who has done what around the house. It doesn’t matter who has given up something more than another. Don’t compare who is more tired. When you start to keep score on these things, it is going to cause problems in a marriage. Don’t keep score. Just let it go. Focus on being a team and then the scorecard doesn’t matter anymore.
Don’t wait until there is a huge fight to tell each other about things that are bothering you. For some people couple’s therapy is the best way to do this. Having someone to help keep things from getting too heated can be helpful. A therapist can also help you figure out the best way to deal with issues that may come up. Couples therapy is often helpful when couples cannot come to an agreement over certain behaviours or issues.
Marriage is work. There will be ups and there will be downs. Riding these waves of good and bad is what makes it a good marriage. Being with someone you love is worth the work it takes to make it a great marriage.